Saturday, May 28, 2011

Apologies + pregnancy + 419 + housekeeping

Ok so im pregnant.........will get to that later on. Again, this is going to be a long post :) but keep reading, you may find what you like.

Sorry, Pele, ndo!!!! I know ive been MIA for a while but no be my fault. I've been extremely busy, traveling and dealing with a lot of people....wooo fedex should employ me for logistics management cos when you can safely deal with a rowdy, demanding 9ja bunch, u don try abeg. Needless to say im tired but we thank God o. I can't complain too much because I am busy due to answered prayers. When they say God's time is ALWAYS on time and that "For the vision [is] yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." I am a living testimony. So my brothers and sisters, the GOD that buttered my bread shall put sugar in your tea o!!!!! Keep the faith

I am not pregnant jo............*NTA 2, chanel 5, ela oju kan* lol Ok so I promised this post a while ago so I may still just ramble on but no wahala. Ok so let me get the Christian perspective out of the way. As some of you have already said: our body is the temple of God so no kokolization before marriage. However, as with many issues, I don't think cause you got pregnant before marriage you will go to hell or cause you didnt you will go to heaven. Now I don't personally know a lot of people that have gotten pregnant before marriage but I have heard stories of when all ended well despite the bele on wedding day. That being said, there are a few groups of people that pre-wedding pregnancy really doesn't sit well for me. Now its not my place to judge put I can say my opinion jare.

1. Teen/young mothers: I am a strong watcher of 16 and pregnant. For these ladies, I don't even think getting married would help their kids have a more stable home cos everything was messed up from the dating start. Most got pregnant by mistake after few months of dating, having sex kinda sorta out of peer pressure, without a care in the world. A kid can't raise a kid. Forget all the welfare something sef, these young parents, by having these kids so young (even with family support), don't give their children the chance to be very useful to society...the statistics are against them and then it starts a cycle, coupled with poverty and all, that becomes difficult for generations to break. That's just a bit selfish to me. However, when I think of 9ja, once you get over the initial stigma part, with all the family and househelps we have around, you may still be able to get you act together so as to give your child a better future.......THIS IS NOT ADVOCATING FOR 9JA TEENS TO GO GET PREGNANT BIKO.

2. Celebrities: Now it is done here in the US too but I will focus more on the 9ja ones because that is what prompted this post. As a PHD holder in nollywood affairs and PHD candidate for 9ja celeb news, it has come to my notice that a lot of them seem to be getting pregnant before they get married. Now it really isn't our business.....i dont even think its something you can say oh young girls and boys look up to you so its bad. What worries me more is that the rumors seem to be that the pregnancy prompted the wedding or the baby daddy is unknown.....none of which is best for the child (ofcourse there are exceptions with strong single mothers and daddys holding it down and pregnancy induced marriages that end well). Just to clarify, if you are getting married and you get pregnant before wedding day, dats one thing. but if you weren't really on the marriage path and just to save face you get married cos of the the pregnancy, yawa fit gas (this is what I mean by pregnancy induced wedding...hope the difference between the 2 is clear ppl). A chilling case in point: Uche Iwuji. Now if you dont really watch 9ja films you may not know here because she isn't a consistent face in movies. However, you may have come across her interview on linda ikeji's blog. The gist of the thing was that she had a miscarriage which is sad but the chilling part was that the baby daddy seemed nothing more than friends with benefits and she was ok with that. Again, not a good something for the child.

Solutions to out of wedlock pregnancy: I know there are churches that do pregnancy test before allowing you to wed in the church and some schools sef that do pregnancy test before allowing you to graduate. Ermm all that is a but extra too me now. Ok so if they are pregnant and you won't allow them to wed, shey dey should go and abort it (another sin) or live unmarried and keep having kids (which is also not Biblically ok). I get the point that maybe its to discourage sex before marriage but as sisi Mena pointed out, children are gifts from God. Shey dey will start givin breath analyzer test on sunday morning before service to see if you drank alcohol or something cos some ppl head to church from d club. While I get trying to uphold the doctrines of the faith, the approach is a bit extra for me jo

Exceptions to the rule: I know the Bible doesn't advocate sex before marriage and really holds matrimony as sacred. However, I don't believe that marriage is a fix for all problems.....maybe slightly feeling that marriage may not be all that it is cracked up to be. And then I read a passage that said that said something like: there will be a time when people will be decieved that marriage isn't all that and they can do without it. I really can't remember the passage but it was as if God was saying, "Olori, you better be thinking of the marriage because it is for you and all my children. don't be deceived". God definitely heard my mums prayers cos she cant wait to plan wedding!  That being said, if you wait till you get married to have sex or have kids, that doesn't mean the marriage will be wonderful or your kids will turn out better than the teenage, single mums kids. People like Oprah and Brad and Angelina are lovers that live together and have kids and all seems well. Whereas there are Christian homes where the rules were followed and daddy is molesting daughter and mother cant speak out.

Question: in the last post someone said she did her legal/court wedding 6 months back but was 2 months pregnant on the wedding day so does that count as out of wedlock pregnancy? 

Answer: I dont know :) because I am tired but off the top of my tired head, I will say it depends so thats a yes and no. I will think about it and explain better when I return for the second post. That being said, this post may not really apply to you cos you don't seem to fall in the pregnancy induced marriage category....see definition above :)................ppl what do you think, does she qualify as out of wedlock pregnancy?

Anyway, the floor is now open to you guys, feel free to agree, disagree, expantiate and discuss.

P.S: I really do have a 419 story and I need to shout out to some bloggers (prizm and hazel and Myne: wetin sick you now?) and then those of you have been commenting and stopping by despite my absence (A very big thank you!!!) but tire hook me for neck like bow tie so later on today or tomorrow, I shall gist you dat one


  1. To the lady in your previous post, who was pregnant 2 months before her wedding day....she did her court/legal marriage already, that is not out of wedlock pregnancy. Court/legal wedding is what count, the church one (walking down the aisle, in white gown) all nah celebration and you want people to come chop.
    I'll be right back with my own analysis on this out of wedlock pregnancy.

  2. what's the difference between court wedding, white wedding, church wedding, nikkai..... a wedding is a wedding. So the lady who got married after her civil union did not get married out of wedlock.

  3. Back with some energy now: on my it depends answer. Now I have heard someppl say the trad wedding is just to satisfy the culture part and the church wedding is the koko for Christians. but then again, you have to have a civil union (even if you don't have a ceremony, atleast sign the papers) to be considered legally married by the state/country. So thats why I say it depends cos someppl are good to go (start living together and all) after the trad ceremony (which i guess typically comes first) while others wait till the church one. Long story short, if you consider yourself married after the civil or trad or nikkai or church then you are married and as such, not out of wedlock pregnancy. Thanks for comments so far.......didnt mean to put the spot light on you hazel :)

  4. I think you meant to say the Bible does not advocate sex before marriage...yes?

  5. @tega yep thats wat i meant. thanks for pointing that out, I swiftly made the correction. thanks for stopping by

  6. Hey Olori, thanks for the shout out... I dey o. I was gonna come by to ask what's up with you and why you been in MIA. Thank God it's for a good reason! A big AMEN to the prayer to said for us at the beginning. I claim it by

    I used to watch 16 and Pregnant too. Gosh, I respect those girls. It's not easy raising a kid in a stable home and with resources, talk less of when you're still a teen yourself and your relationship with the baby-daddy is messed up. Ko easy.

    Those churches and schools that require those test are unreasonably prude. They should stick to doing their jobs and stop interfering in people's personal lives.

  7. @prism i dey o. nd yep some church ppl be over-interfering. remove the log in your eye before removing d spec in my eye abi..dnt mind them...thanks for the pattern post

  8. My church back home does the pregnancy-test-before-wedding thing and I asked my pastor "what if a bride-to-be is pregnant?"
    His take is that the bible says "two shall become one" and not three, so they'll happily join the couple after she's had her baby.
    While I agree that some church ppl can be over-interfering, I am of the opinion that the church had to stand for something. Has pre-marital sex become so acceptable that "uncool" for the church to even suggest that God's word be our standard?

  9. @gbems thanks for stopping by. i def see where ur comin from but my thing is whether before the birth of the child or after the birth of the child, ur not anyless a sinner for the pre-marital sex issue. as for ur pastors explanation, ive never heard it put that way but it does make sense to me