How I spent my Valemtime and Bday: Now every year, the week leading up to my birthday and the week of the bday gan sef is always depressing. All the bad things that didn't happen to me since the last bday will start happening, I will fall sick or lose money or something bad sha or ppl will annoy me. So me and Kabiyesi (the boyfriend of 6yrs gan o --- I never try) had a huge fight a few weeks ago (maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago). Something really serious and you know this egocentric african men.......he jam rock cos my ego is his ego raised to the power 500. So we were on silent treatment for like 1 week. Then he breaks the silence after one week.
Olori: Hmmm, who is this
Kabiyesi: Sho wa alright sha. You have deleted my number after how many days ni
Olori: Oh you are the one
Kabiyesi: No OOOO......I am not the one
Olori: Come come come who are you talking to like that. O tu ti bere o. After you will say im the trouble maker. Shey you called me. State your mission and pare of my phone jor
Kabiyesi: Love has yeye'd me o. I wont take such on a normal day. O sha mo
Olori: What do you want?
Kabiyesi: I need to stay over at your place on the 13th
Olori: For what now? You wont talk to me but you want to come and wine and dine at my place. Shey I will charge you hotel fees too ni
Kabiyesi: Na wa o. I wonder how I met someone as hot headed as you walahi. Shey mo so fun e pe I will be travelling tomorrow to be back on the 13th. But very late at night. You also know of my meeting at xyz company for 8am so should I now go all the way back home when you live both close to the airport and the company.
Olori: All na grammar.
Kabiyesi: So can I come or what let me know how to arrange myself
Olori: Na u sabi...have I ever kicked you out?
Kabiyesi: No but....
Olori: But what
Kabiyesi: Oya bye bye I see you want fight this night.
So on the 13th o. This man's flight is supposed to be here at 8pm. I had cooled down o from the initial argument of a few weeks back. Even cooked for his big head seeing as it was vals day now. Better food. Even left work early to cook up a storm.....the saying the way to his heart is thru is stomach is over true in my case o. D plan was that we will chop, I will convince him to come back to my place after work close on the 14th (use my bday to blackmail if need be) so we can trash out this matter we argued over. I call call call tire no one picked up my call which I hate so much. So after slaving away in d kitchen you wont inform me that business plans changed and you had to reschedule flight (which he has done a few times before) or you had to stop over somewhere first or something sha. Any explanation and I have not heard a word at 11pm. Then 11.30 he texts me "I am on my way...something came up." Now plan done change. I plan to give him a proper lashing out from the door. As in before you even open mouth I have thrown 3 shots sharply. Boko Haram gats norin on me in verbal battles and throwing verbal bombs (not a good traits really sha o :). The door bell rings, I am already in my bum shorts and tank tops with my weave in hair net (18-inches gan so its not good to leave it out for a fight). Next thing I see is bestie, mumsy, popsy, his mumsy, his popsy, his bestie and my man with a RING!!!!!!!!!
You can fill in the gap :)
Have a lovely day ppl
The above story is so not true ;)....As in 100% April Fool lol xoxo