Friday, February 17, 2012

Will you be my valemtime?

Yep im back!!!!!!!!! Ok I don't know if that is even the right word to use cos my body just do firikpo to post today. My excuses: work and business (wey I still never start.....tori for another day) Oya no vex I will try and do one post a month atleast steps :). Thats right up there with my other resolutions eating healthy, exercising and joining the oil cabal in Nigeria (I will explain in a future post or maybe today lol) How una dey sha.....longest time.  First of Happy Birthday to me....yep i was born Feb 14th many moons ago. And Happy Valemtime to me you too.....any juicy juice of how you and yours spent your valemtimes....if you havent already spilled on your blogs :).....I shall get to read those. But let me spill my beans too

How I spent my Valemtime and Bday: Now every year, the week leading up to my birthday and the week of the bday gan sef is always depressing. All the bad things that didn't happen to me since the last bday will start happening, I will fall sick or lose money or something bad sha or ppl will annoy me. So me and Kabiyesi (the boyfriend of 6yrs gan o --- I never try) had a huge fight a few weeks ago (maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago). Something really serious and you know this egocentric african men.......he jam rock cos my ego is his ego raised to the power 500. So we were on silent treatment for like 1 week. Then he breaks the silence after one week.

Kabiyesi: Olori
Olori: Hmmm, who is this
Kabiyesi: Sho wa alright sha. You have deleted my number after how many days ni
Olori: Oh you are the one
Kabiyesi: No OOOO......I am not the one
Olori: Come come come who are you talking to like that. O tu ti bere o. After you will say im the trouble maker. Shey you called me. State your mission and pare of my phone jor
Kabiyesi: Love has yeye'd me o. I wont take such on a normal day. O sha mo
Olori: What do you want?
Kabiyesi: I need to stay over at your place on the 13th
Olori: For what now? You wont talk to me but you want to come and wine and dine at my place. Shey I will charge you hotel fees too ni
Kabiyesi: Na wa o. I wonder how I met someone as hot headed as you walahi. Shey mo so fun e pe I will be travelling tomorrow to be back on the 13th. But very late at night. You also know of my meeting at xyz company for 8am so should I now go all the way back home when you live both close to the airport and the company.
Olori: All na grammar.
Kabiyesi: So can I come or what let me know how to arrange myself
Olori: Na u sabi...have I ever kicked you out?
Kabiyesi: No but....
Olori: But what
Kabiyesi: Oya bye bye I see you want fight this night.
Olori: Odabo

So on the 13th o. This man's flight is supposed to be here at 8pm. I had cooled down o from the initial argument of a few weeks back. Even cooked for his big head seeing as it was vals day now. Better food. Even left work early to cook up a storm.....the saying the way to his heart is thru is stomach is over true in my case o. D plan was that we will chop, I will convince him to come back to my place after work close on the 14th (use my bday to blackmail if need be) so we can trash out this matter we argued over.  I call call call tire no one picked up my call which I hate so much. So after slaving away in d kitchen you wont inform me that business plans changed and you had to reschedule flight (which he has done a few times before) or you had to stop over somewhere first or something sha. Any explanation and I have not heard a word at 11pm. Then 11.30 he texts me "I am on my way...something came up."  Now plan done change. I plan to give him a proper lashing out from the door. As in before you even open mouth I have thrown 3 shots sharply. Boko Haram gats norin on me in verbal battles and throwing verbal bombs (not a good traits really sha o :). The door bell rings, I am already in my bum shorts and tank tops with my weave in hair net (18-inches gan so its not good to leave it out for a fight). Next thing I see is bestie, mumsy, popsy, his mumsy, his popsy, his bestie and my man with a RING!!!!!!!!!

You can fill in the gap :)

Have a lovely day ppl

The above story is so not true ;)....As in 100% April Fool lol xoxo


  1. OMG!!!!!!
    COngratulations Olori!
    I totally didnt see that comingg! I should have guessed though given that you took time to come and t'asi us today! (*sideye@ u)
    Oya what did u say?!
    Me I sha dont like this kind of suspense sha!
    Oh Lord!
    Congrats again!

  2. How can u be doing April's fool in Feb? Anyway, it was a good story. Abeg do and come and talk the real thing jor.

  3. LMAO...Sting's input is making me see from a completely different perspective..After all my hyperventilation, if this is one of your jokes, Olori, walai, ma a begi for you! Walai!

  4. lol @ valemtime. Wow, I was so happy till I read the caption under that pic. So seriously are you for real or pulling our legs to pull our legs?
    Happy birthday even though its late :-)

  5. ha!!!!!!! not true ke? now am vexing

  6. Valemtime bobo! Olori why na. i don dance finish before i see disclaimer.
    but i am willing to believe there's some truth mixed up there so 'fess up

  7. Wait o, there is a disclaimer true true o! Chei!!! And I wash hand, chop am even lick finger join!
    Walai, God punish devil!
    *snaps finger @u, Olori*
    Ile l'apoti n joko de idi!

  8. I'm filing a COURT CASE. I was so happy reading until i saw that 'tiny sentence' BUT, 1 post per month? Not so fair. Wat wil i be reading na? Anywayz, be good. Love u..

  9. Awww congrats anyways,haha nice one. This whole storynsounds likena typical me

  10. You this Olori sha, you had me on lockdown there till the disclaimer at the end, lol...

  11. Lmao@Honeydame. Babe, breathe jor lol.
    Olori, u are 1 hilarious sombody. that convo with Kabiyesi is total hilarity. 1st time here and i was thinking c proposal o only for u to put disclaimer. I been dey imagine how me sef go get proposal in cute bum shorts and spag na. smh

    I'm following now cos i want more (i know i'm oliver twist)

  12. You are way too late in your blogging job. :). Keep posting though.

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